Scarlett Enos, 52

Announcing and welcoming the gorgeous Scarlett as one of the latest members of The 40/40 Project!

Scarlett is 52 and is the Communities in School site coordinator at Point Pleasant Jr. High and with her calm yet uplifting vibe I know they are fortunate to have her.

Who is or was the most influential person in your life?

"As much as I like to blame my mother for my imperfections, she actually influenced a mindset in me that I find myself passing on to other young women almost daily. As a young girl, she often would tell us( my sisters and me) to learn to take care of ourselves, not to depend on a man for our livelihood. I'll be honest, I often thought she was maybe unhappy about her life as a stay at home wife and that she wished she could leave my dad and take care of herself. She pushed us to get educations and develop skills to do just that. What I now understand is that marriages may break up, and spouses also may pass away and we must be able to take care of ourselves both emotionally and financially in either case. I can't tell you how many times I've drawn on those words and mindset to help my self through the hard times of losing a spouse, but I also encourage young women to develop skills that they can survive this world on their own if they have to."

If you could give one piece of advice to your 20 year old self what would it be?

I would tell her to love herself and her body. Cherish what God gave you .Don't be afraid to cry, to love people deeply and be vulnerable- because those things actually make you strong- not weak.

What was the most transformative experience you have had? How did it shape you?

The most transformative time in my life was my marriage and walking the journey of life and death with my late husband, Aaron.

Before we married, we planned his funeral- all the details. He would wear his black vest with the bone buttons, and we would serve chocolate cake with chocolate icing. The cake would say " welcome Home" 

Helping him navigate life as his body and abilities changed built a keen insight within me and and empathy for others and the struggles of caregivers inparticularlly. I learned how to live in the day. We planned for his death as much as we planned for  life.

Every aspect from the type of home we bought  to the name we picked for our daughter was with intention of both living and dying. The cycle of life. 

I learned both what  sacrifice and commitment looks like. His biggest fear was that he be trapped in a bed and forgotten. He went where I went. We traveled, we raised a daughter . We went to the grocery store and school events. That was not as easy as we made it look. Lol . I still look for the wheelchair ramps first,when I go out or travel. 

I learned what it was like to be last. One of the hardest things to do is navigate a wheelchair in a large crowds. Once I got over the need to be first, and contain or resist  the 'rush'  I also learned peace.

The hours leading up to his death were filled with a feeling of sadness and accomplishment. I was losing him , but we were also completing our jouney ......He had never lost sight of Heaven- he was the one who taught me how cool its going to be.I'll never forget his last 'thumbs up' when I told him that the staff had asked for his living Will. (He had planned that too, to protect me from having to make difficult decisions alone.)

I learned how to love.

Why did you want to participate in the project?

I was a wife and caregiver to my late husband for 18 hrs.  I lost myself during the hardest years of that season. I ve worked hard the last 5 years- going back to the workforce, getting healthy, raising our daughter....and it looks so fun and creative and everyone looks beautiful.

Are you a woman over the age of 40?

Are you interested in being a part of this amazing, empowering project? Get the full details and sign up here